Ah, love and money—two subjects that alone can turn a calm Sunday afternoon into an emotionally charged conversation that makes Brexit look like small talk. Throw in the subject of debt, and you might as well be walking through a field of emotional landmines. If you’re finding yourself in a bit of a financial pickle while navigating a relationship, you’re not alone. A recent survey shows that one in three South African couples argue about money at least once a month. So let’s chat about how to handle debt and relationships without turning your home into the stage for the next soapie drama.
Communication is King, or Queen, or Both
Look, nobody enjoys having ‘The Talk.’ You know, the one that begins with, “We need to discuss our finances…” and ends with both of you examining your bank statements like it’s an ancient manuscript full of secrets. But, honesty is the best policy. Lay out your debts, no matter how daunting they may be. This transparency helps you both understand the gravity of the situation. Plus, it’s much easier to tackle a problem as a united front rather than as lone warriors.
Make A Plan, Stan
Creating a plan doesn’t have to involve spreadsheets and complicated formulas—unless you’re into that sort of thing. Simply sit down, and figure out a roadmap for paying off debt, be it credit card debt, student loans, or those pesky store accounts. Break it down into achievable goals: how much to pay off every month, and how long it will take. If both of you are contributing towards the debt, decide on who pays what. Stick to the plan like a footballer to his training schedule—strict, but with room for occasional indulgence (like an extra date night when you hit a milestone).
The Blame Game
It’s easy to point fingers and say, “You shouldn’t have bought that,” or “Why did you take out a loan for that car?” But let’s be honest, no one wins in the blame game. Instead, focus on how to move forward. If one of you comes into some unexpected cash (Eh, hello tax refund!), use it to pay off debt faster rather than splurging on a fancy dinner or the latest smartphone.
The Support System
Offering emotional support is just as important as contributing financially. Celebrate small victories, like when you’ve paid off a specific account or reached a savings goal. When one of you is feeling down about the mountain of debt that’s still left, be each other’s cheerleaders. Debt doesn’t disappear overnight, but encouragement does wonders for your mental state.
Get Professional Help if Needed
If you’re in too deep and don’t know where to start, consider getting financial advice. Debt counselling services are available that can help you work out a repayment plan and negotiate with creditors. Having a neutral third party can sometimes be the best thing for a relationship strained by finances.
Parting Thoughts
Navigating the treacherous waters of love and debt isn’t for the faint of heart, but it’s entirely doable. Keep the lines of communication open, make a plan that works for both of you, and offer each other unwavering support. At the end of the day, relationships are not about the sum of your bank accounts but the quality of your partnership. Tackle the debt issue, and you’ll find that your relationship is richer in more ways than one.
Now, who’s up for that emotionally charged Sunday afternoon chat? I promise, it’s easier than you think.
